A COVID-19 sunset and the world crisis: a very personal point of view

Find below a constant flow of ever-evolving emotions and thoughts provoked by the crisis

This sunset pic was taken from my kitchen.

No quote, no inspiring message, no strong political statement. I could not find the right way to start this post, as I think there is no right way to start talking about it. Also, this is my version of how I am feeling regarding the situation, and it is neither right nor wrong. There is no one right way to deal mentally and emotionally with what we are facing now as a world population.

First, a disclaimer. I am by many standards privileged when it comes to this crisis. I have not lost my job, I live in a country that is deemed as an example of the way it is handling the crisis. My boyfriend is by my side and my financial situation is stable. I have not lost someone to the disease.

As a newish expat, I am however far away from my family and friends, and that situation is likely to continue for the foreseeable future. There is no clear deadline as to when I can cross the border again back to France, or hop on a flight to London or Dublin. I have lost ten precious days of holidays, the first proper holidays in years actually. Some days I am dealing ok with those facts, some days a bit less so, as the physical lockdown takes slowly the shape of a mental lockdown.

Sure, I will find alternatives to enjoy the moments off, and this time under lockdown constitutes some welcomed time-off from the two-hour-long daily commute and other similar less nice sides of life. I truly appreciate the fact that I only have to walk down some stairs to start my working day. I feel like my daydreaming can also be productive by helping me projecting myself on the paradisiac islands I should have been on.

I have started to appreciate the little things more: a bit of sun through the window, hearing the birds (who knew they were so many flying ducks over Munich?!), little things like that. Watching my plants growing is also a big source of happiness. I do not enjoy the walks so much though, each step is accompanied by a crippling feeling of guilt and extreme annoyance felt towards anyone coughing or passing me way closer than the distancing limit. I truly wonder how the virus can be under control in Munich when I see the number of people not caring about the measures.

Appreciation pic for my very pretty Traudl

These thoughts put aside, I have to appreciate again the fact that the German government is trusting people to make their own decisions, unlike in France where my family has to fill up a formal paper to justify any single outing. That being said though, I find it increasingly harder to appreciate the little things in life.

Because of the horrors happening daily, the increasing number of lives lost, the tragedies hitting so many families and local businesses. Because of the uncertainty that this crisis is bringing. Because of the pressure of doing very productive things during this lockdown, like getting a new set of abs or mastering a new language. But above all, because of the determination that some of our "leaders" show in trying to keep the status quo and once again take advantage of this crisis for economic gains over saving lives.

There is such an incredible level of disrespect when the head of the French employer federation even suggested that employees should work a lot more once the crisis is calming down; when people with millions in their bank accounts don't even think of donating to their local health systems; when once again the minorities are the more affected and exposed to risk during this global pandemic; when governments and employers will go at great lengths to make you work even more, and no one can say anything because we all depend financially on it. Where is the human in all of that? Isn't this crisis completely showing that maybe it is time to have a little bit more empathy and rethink that constant race to profits? These are only a few examples of why I find it so hard to enjoy the little things some days, and though I do not regret at all making the big move to Germany, being far away from the familiar is not helping much with this situation. I mean, this is a very short blogpost with an unclear trail of thoughts, just a random alignment of ideas and thoughts. In the midst of all of this, my only little glimmer of hope is that there have been some nice gestures. Being nice to each other, yes. That sounds simple but can do a lot of good, at least mentally.

I do not have a miracle recipe on how to keep your mental health strong in those days, neither do I want to complain too much. I am definitely more irritable than before for instance and at the same time a bit more open to communicating more openly and stepping back to take the time to analyze situations.

I do not have a magical solution to end this crisis and offer a better world for everyone. I do know though that I am much less willing to accept unfairness, that I will do my best to find ways to fight the injustice provoked by this crisis.

This crisis actually woke up again my dormant political activism, and I want to contribute to building a much fairer, human post-COVID-19 world. What about you? How do you feel about it? Want to brainstorm ideas together to try to make things better at least on the very local level? Take care in these times.