Home, little rituals, and addictions

Have you ever noticed that when you move to a new place, you develop new little rituals? The coffee in the morning slowly sipped by a specific window in your flat, or the coffee you get on the way to work, in your favorite coffee shop... Look back at your day and see which parts of it are something you accomplish every day!

These little habits and rituals slowly shape our daily life without us realising. It is only when you move out or when one of these places closes down that you understand how big a part it was of your daily life, and maybe how much it contributes to you feeling at home.

To me, my little rituals in London and Dublin were intertwined with little addictions, namely cigarettes, and, to a lesser extent, a drink. My commute to work in Dublin (read a little bit here of how wonderful it was) included a ciggie, sometimes alone in front of the office, sometimes with my colleague, a fellow early riser. My first step out of the office in London was always followed by one as well. There were also other habits, like getting a café latte first thing at the office, which followed me from London to Dublin, and all the way to Munich.

You will notice that those habits were linked to the routine of working life. Maybe some ideas of habits outside of the working life will rise up later during the writing process. Now I wonder, are these daily acts and addictions what shape our feeling of being home somewhere?

This comes to me as a question, as I moved to Germany shortly before Covid overtook our lives, left my job in March this year, and, in the process, lost my habits and addictions. And funnily enough, though I enjoy my time here, I have yet to get this strong, homely feeling.

With quitting my job came multiple positive things for me. My physical health got better, my mental health healed, and, on the 16th of March, I smoked my last cigarette ever. At least I hope, but I am now confident in my ability to resist any ciggie urge. The long summer nights tested my will, and I am beyond happy to report that it did not break.

Yet, in some twisted way, a little part of my identity flew away, and with it this homely feeling.

I was happy and proud to get rid of the addiction part. However, it was also linked to many memories, including many occasions that contributed to this feeling of belonging somewhere and being home. Understand a cig with a friend outside of a pub, with my team from work, or by a tube station waiting for someone to arrive.

Many friendships started through it.

Now, if I look at my day-to-day life, I am starting to develop new little habits. Coffee served by my lovely boyfriend in the morning is an all-time favourite. A Sunday afternoon pole class that does all the right things for my body and mind, aside from the lovely "pole kisses" that come with it. And, during the months with restrictions, a daily walk around sunset time. I do hope that eventually, this will lead to a more homely feeling, while I get to know my city, mourn my past addictions and pursue a different career.

What are your little habits? Do they make you feel at home?